An apology is an admission by one party of an offense (intentional or unintentional) against another, and a sincere attempt to make amends. Given that we’re all human, inclined to make mistakes and – whether purposefully or otherwise – injure other people, apologies are key to sustaining or restoring trust in relationships. Scholars are divided over precisely how many parts there are to an authentic apology – three, four, five . . . or even nine. Here are some of the key parts:

1. Admission of wrongdoing – Be specific. Show that you really understand what you did that was wrong.
2. Acceptance of responsibility – Own your wrongdoing, don’t make excuses.
3. Remorse – You should regret the wrongdoing itself, not merely the fact that you were caught. Note, too, the remorse must be directed to both the act and the victim; you should regret doing some thing to some one , remorse must be directed to act AND victim)
4. Appropriate form – There’s a certain proportionality to apologies. The nature and severity of your wrongdoing should dictate the form of apology you use.
5. Commitment to change – An apology is only authentic to the extent that it exhibits a genuine commitment to change. Remember the maxim, it’s not your character, it’s your lack of character that caused the wrong. We can always be better people.
6. Offer of Reparation – Your regret is not enough; to restore justice to a situation, you must be prepared to offer some form of reparation to return the victim – to the extent possible – to wholeness.
7. Repetition (where applicable) – In many instances, for particularly public harms, a single apology will not get the job done. You must authenticate your initial apology with similar, consistent apologies to different audiences.